11,000 Scientists: Stop Killing The Planet, You Utter Morons

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

What’s that? Scientists around the world have been talking about this for 40 years? The first major warning was in 1992? Just in 2017, over 15,000 signed their names to an almost-identical warning? And that number went down to 11,000 this year because 4,000 of them lived too close to the sea level? No no no, impossible. Our political and corporate overlords would never knowingly turn our planet into the inside of a popcorn bag out of sheer greed and apathy. Wait, they did know? And they’re ignoring the issue out of self-interest, knowing their boomer bones will long be buried in the soured soil before the world crumbles? You don’t say!

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

If that’s true, the only recourse left is for us all to turn into adult versions of Greta Thunberg and take to the streets to hold those in power accountable for the catastrophic damage they are continuously inflicting on our planet. Change is possible, all we need to do is take charge and …

Hmm? Sorry, I just looked outside at a squirrel spontaneously combusting and totally forgot what I was talking about. But don’t worry, I’m sure the status quo will get its shit together before the 2020 doomsday message.

Join Cedric on Twitter and let’s all boil together.

For more, check out Sleep In This Random House From ‘Harry Potter’ For $200 and Did You Vote Today? Don’t Forget Your Complimentary Porno.

Also, we’d love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Follow us on Facebook. Because we’re all in this together.